WELLNESS JOURNEY: Day 4: My Personal Identity

This exploration couldn't have come at a better time.  The physical cleansing has failed and today I am not unmotivated but tired after staying up with a teething babe and taking the girls to playgroup and feeling totally defeated.  The stimulation was too much, the crowd was huge and not-necessarily inviting, I couldn't make sense of my thoughts, the Littlest of Babes refused to nurse and the Eldest of Babes got kicked in the head.  My girls are my world and I felt like they were being bombarded today.  All Babes were out of sorts and I was anxious.  Not to mention that I have not seen my best friend the Papa in two days, my neck and stomach are in pain, and the career path that I would like to pursue seems difficult to attain...That being said....

How I Perceive Others View Me 

I truly hope that others think well of me.  Certain things get lost in my role as stay-at-home mama, like for instance, my educational background or the fact that I desire to be a lifelong learner, maybe even my athleticism or nerdy-ness, or the simple fact that I was a person before my kids.  Honestly, I don't know.  I wish I did.  As the Papa, can attest to, I can read people extremely well.  So if you are judging me or others, I'm onto you.  If you are out of sorts, I am there to help.  But once you pass judgment on me, I am pretty much done.  I don't waste my time.

In general, I think that maybe people confuse my youth with a lack of experience and intelligence.  My intelligence is what I value the most, so when it isn't acknowledged or overlooked, I get upset.  Some people (shall I say older, insecure women) blatantly ignore me because of this perceived youth (let me tell ya - my daughter's are my first true experience with childhood and they are wiser than some adults I know).

My exterior may portray this earth mama vibe and got it all togetherness.  And that is what I hope to portray.  Generally I am, but it is something that I have worked hard for.

How do you perceive me, followers and friends?  Because you are the only opinions that matter.

How I View Myself

MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER,MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHERMOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER,MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER,MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER, MOTHER

WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE,WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE,WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE,WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE,WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE, WIFE,

(my two important roles)

dreamer, lover of vintage, saver of the planet, empathetic, friend, family, intelligent, shy, spy quality, doula, dancer, attentive to detail, best gift getter, mind reader, psychologist, baker, good cook, lifelong learner, reader, knitter, crafter, artist, inspired, inspirational, athletic, mind-racing, love chasing, earthy, digital,

more can be found here.

Today, as you may tell, this post and my mind are discombobulated.  The cleanse was a failure and I am truly feeling ill.  To better days and soul searching

The Mama

xoxox