FOR THE LOVE OF THREE: KNIT. KNACK. KNOCK.

I'm working on a new series on the blog called FOR THE LOVE OF THREES.  I have three babes whom I love and thought it might be neat to share those other things that I love on threes.  My intention is to start next week from the beginning with those three "A" things I love.  But for this first post I will share some that begin with "K".  See I was thinking about being cozy but couldn't come up with three "C"s I wanted to use and since K and C sound the same I just went for it.  The confusion will hopefully subside.  

knit.

this is just chunky amazingness.  Colours are to dye for and the table is such an industrial feel.

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knack.

Yes!  I want a Blythe.  I have for years now.  Maybe if I ever make any of my own money I will get myself one.

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knock.

dreaming of European trips and welcoming new experiences.  So pretty!

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DEAR BABES: OUR RHYTHM

My loves.  I feel as though it has been an eternity since I wrote to you from my heart.  Sometimes the pace of life sweeps away the moments of remembering to pause, reflect, share.  These precious days are filled with so much.  Reading, creating, nourishing, loving, establishing and re-working our rhythm.

There is such a calm to our day.  We all are able to marvel in each other and really connect because there exists no pressure to do and be without an expected transition.  Inhale.  Exhale. Repeat. 

The structure of our day is so simplistic but filled with such joy.  Making breakfast is my favourite part of the day.  While you sit at the table doing an activity or hurry down the stairs dressed in your ballet best, I prepare a morning feast of sorts.  To know that I am providing your first bit of energy is really fulfilling.  We sit and eat together.  The conversation is quiet but we are together.  

Immediately we head outdoors.  It is here where I begin to see your spirits set free and minds fill with possibilities.  We venture.  The day continues in such a manner.  Learning and loving, always along the way.

Now, when the rhythm loses its flow it is felt by all.  A sick babe is upset and needs time.  A mama who loses patience and ill herself, needs a pause to reflect.  Mama nature abrupt changes can throw us all into upheaval.  

Let us promise to continue to love each other.  Embrace each other even when the walls are confining.

In several days, we welcome two amazing babes into our home and further into our lives.  Let us welcome them and intertwine our rhythm with theirs.  The outcome will be magnificent.

 

WHAT THE MAMA WORE: FROZEN AZTEC

Yesterday we had the first snowfall in our small ontario town.  It is a soft blanket of frozen crystals that warms my heart with thoughts of everything "cozy": hot chocolate with a hint of cinnamon and chile, knitting the blanket for the babe I started a week before her birth, dreaming of building snow castles and sliding on icy hills, creating memories while rosy-ing our cheeks.  Winter solstice is but month away but it's presence is welcomed enthusiastically.

black beanie & mittens from

Target (I needed them desperately) // all other items were thrifted // the blue Aztec poncho was thrifted from a vintage etsy shop

 

MOON DAUGHTER: MY CONNECTION TO THE GODDESS

She is beautiful.  She illuminates and lingers.  She chases you on long drives.  Always there, I feel she protects.  She houses the warmth of our closest star and reflects it back to our bodies to be absorbed by our hearts.  She is a goddess.

My relationship with Her has evolved.  As a child she mystified.  As a teen she was a beacon of literary influence and inspiration.  Many a poem and deep thought came to fruition with her strong, full presence.  As a young adult in university she was my companion on late study nights.  She comforted and consoled.

I drifted, although she remained, as I maneuvered my way through motherhood.  It wasn't until this past year that we revisited.  

With the birth of the littlest babe, personal reflection was minimized.  In the throws of loving, I at times, forgot to love myself.  In the wakeful nights, I found myself being reminded to just breathe.  Dressed in my favourite Aztec blue poncho, I would creep out to our iron fire escape and stare in awe.  A conversation would begin from my end.  Staring and spilling my inner most thoughts, She remained still and silent.  I felt heard although no words were spoken.  It was with She that I discovered myself again.

It is absurd to assume that She is real and has supernatural abilities to speak to me, but Her spirit lifted mine and for that I honour.  To know that each being on Earth can look up and speak to Her creates such a joy in my heart.  She connects.  She embodies life.  Without her water does not shift.  Her gravitational pull moves oceans and undoubtedly, us being mainly composed of l'eau, how can one not be moved by Her.

I honour her on this full moon because as I get older her effects have become more noticeable and fill me with a love and positivity that I need to express gratitude for.  

So while I dream, thank you for watching wake fully in my lace covered windows.

REMEMBRANCE DAY FOR ME

This is Ernest Pelletier, my grandfather.  He has been gone from the earth since my first year of highschool (16 years now).  Most memories of him are still so fresh.  I can still feel, smell and hear him.  My sister and I were his baby girls in a sea of male grand children.  We were truly the apples of his eyes.  He was a quiet man and for that it made him so strong.  He kept busy and relaxed well at the end of the day.  

Getting comfy in the worn couch in the livingroom, he would turn on the television ( you know the kind, the ones that were built into a unit where you could put photos of your grandchildren and fake flowers on).  Undoubtedly he would put on the history channel or something of that nature.  He watched.  He never talked.  The remnants of the war were few.  My mom once told me that he couldn't stop crying after he returned.  That he had an insatiable appetite for bananas and apples, after having been denied their sweetness while serving.  His tats were visible but they were part of my grandfather so I really didn't pay much attention to their details.  His legs trembled while he slept at the cottage, possibly some form of post traumatic stress.  

He was my everything.  It was pretty hard for him not to be.  As I matured, I wanted to know more about him from his perspective.  I had never asked him about his war experience but I knew I owed it to him to ask.  So I snuggled next to him while he watched one of his shows and just asked.  I can't remember exactly what he said but I remember him looking at me, with proud eyes and chatting.  It was our only deep talk, the most he had ever spoke to me one on one.  He passed unexpectedly months later.

My hero had fallen but he forever remains in my thoughts each day.  I had a photograph of him tattooed on my left arm so that I could always carry him with me and so he could walk me down the aisle when I married.  He did.

So today, this day of remembrance,I pay tribute to those men and women who served for my freedom.  I am eternally grateful.  I will never forget, I will honour and will teach my children about your courage.  But I also plan to teach my children about peace.  That is, some might say, utopian.  I am no stranger to people imparting their beliefs onto me with regards to teaching my children about the real world.  I choose to honour veterans with the hope for world peace and love.  For this I personally choose to not wear a red or even a white poppy.  I choose to not wear a symbol of blood shed and the most known symbol of remembrance of fallen heroes, not because I am I unpatriotic and disrespectful.  I truly believe that we should honour these brave people.  These people fought for my right to choose and speak and each Remembrance Day, past and present, I do remember but I still wear a bare lapel.  I stare at the seas of red that mask monuments.  I take a deep breath, moments of silence, and cry.  The poppy is a profound symbol that has personal significance for each.  I feel that significance needs to be respected as well for they fought for our personal expression.  Veterans fought for our freedom of expression and it is dishonourable to judge or be intolerant others for exercising our right.  Lest we forget.  

I speak only of this intolerance because of the recent tirade by a Canadian "celebrity" pertaining to the white poppy movement and how moronic those supporters are.  A group mentality erupted and thousands of comments began to stream.  His followers were quick to jump on the wagon.  There were many comments about disrespect but many touching on immigrants ruining our traditions and in particular that these "morons" keep their mouths shut and disappear.  The very emergence of this hate rhetoric and the thrust behind is quite saddening.  I am quite positive that our fallen heroes would be disgusted to know that those promoting peace and the very rights they fought for were being verbally obliterated.  Seems quite unpatriotic, disrespectful and oxymoronic to lead such a "war" of perspectives when these soldiers fought for peace.

Please take only from this post that which is positive.  I am one woman in a

world of millions who dreams for peace.   I never forget and I honour all who have served and will.  I choose to look toward harmony rather than war of perspective.  I choose to teach my children tolerance through love and respect.  These are simple practices for that which I believe were tremendous sacrifices: life.  Let us live together.

 

WHAT THE MAMA WORE: FALL FAVES

The Papa, the babes and I ventured to our cottage today.  The weather is perfectly fitting for early Canadian winter: leaves turned and fallen, fresh and crisp breezes, a warmth that teases, grey skies.  It is the beginning of cozy time so to honour the occasion I dressed in my fall best.

Vintage doc martens // thrifted Dollhouse felted trench coat // black California hipster beanie // sock monkey socks from the Papa // my thrifted black bag - purse // vintage glasses // Vera Moda cobalt khakis
 
 
 

 
 

MAMA SELF LOVE: 31ST ROTATION AROUND THE SUN

Several days ago I turned 31.  It was such a year of self-discovery.  Fully immersed as a mama to three amazing babes, together we have found a rhythm to our day which I cherish deeply.  As each day passes I feel truly blessed that I have been given these amazing blessings and that we mutually affect each other with our love and world perspectives.  Their simplicity, honesty and purity is infectious and calming.

While my babes and I blossomed greatly, other relationships withered.  As time passed an understanding of myself developed and strengthened and I am no longer willing to accept the mediocrity of unsupportive friendships.  If I give my full heart and support, unwavering, I deserve the same.

The year had its hardships.  A group that I had become involved in fell apart. But we forged through as a group, created our own sacred space where women uplift, love, light and learn.  I am eternally grateful to the ladies in this group for in many of my darkest hours I turned to them.  Their brilliance magnified my own.

In other news, I am still working towards answering health questions.  My symptoms have subsided for the time being but I am anxious and positive about he outcome.

The papa and I decided that we will pursue homeschooling with our babes.  The hesitance which surrounded this decision was propelled by my fault in letting others' judgment into my head.  But I have since found an amazing network of fellow unschoolers and we couldn't be more happy with our decision.  Our babes have been happier as well.

It was basically a year full of ebbs and flows, highs and lows, but I prevailed.  

To my babes who make my life amazing, thank you.  Your joy becomes mine and your little lives are so big.  You are the most important beings and I will continue to honour that.  

There are 7 Cardinal Rules of Life that I have followed well this year and I hope for them to govern my life indefinitely:

1. Make peace with your past so it won't disturb your present

2.  What other people think of you is none of your business

3.  Time heals almost everything.  Give it time.

4.  No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

5. Don't compare your life to others. 

6. Stop thinking too much.

7.  Smile

Good night universe, friends, loves. 

I feel very honoured to have experienced such a year of self-discovery.