15 Week Baby Bump Watch

The Littlest of Babes has now been within me for 15 weeks.  My heart waits patiently to welcome this new babe however the sickness that accompanies their growth can be unbearable at times.  I wish I was one of those women who blissfully go through pregnancy without aches and pains, scars and emotional trauma.  My body doesn't allow it.  It seems as though the moment we discover that I am pregnant, a universal force takes hold and controls my mind and body wholly.

From the onset I experience nausea that lasts all day.  It never lets up.  I try desperately to combat the overwhelmingly sick feeling but as toddlers run about and other life seeps in, it is difficult to just lay in bed in the fetal position waiting for it to be over.  Luckily, the Papa was playing the part of stay at home parent this winter and I could lie in bed desperately aching for fresh air and torment myself with a computer screen.  The thought of anything other than mindless made me insane.  The inability to submerse myself into a craft, book or with my Babes was unbearably depressing.

I also have experienced the embarrassing moments of almost passing out in front of people.   Not yet wanting to share the early pregnancy news I felt obligated to explain so they wouldn't feel obligated to call emergency services.

It has been 3 weeks since I felt terrible.  Most days I am able to breathe fresh air and fully engage with the Babes.  But just as I count my lucky stars, day long headaches present themselves accompanied by shakes.  I spent half the weekend just lying on a couch.  

My body is amazing and although it might sound as though I despise it at the moment, the realization that it is getting primed for the welcoming of a precious being, our being, is so empowering.  Pregnancy has been a blessing in that it has also taught me to become very in touch with its workings and to respect when it is talking to me.

So Littlest of Babes, I truthfully do not write with angst but with empowerment, strength and fortitude in difficulty which will lead to sweetness.  Dulcius ex asperis.

Love the Mama

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