A week ago I lay with my Babe to put her to sleep for a night of dreams. Our eyes locked as I stroked her curly locks and she sucked her thumb. I asked her about September's prospect of going to school. She said that rather than go to school where the big kids would knock her around she wanted to stay with me forever. My heart broke and subsequently, I could not go to sleep. I spent all night with the Papa talking about how precious our little orchid is.

I must admit that I have had some selfish reservations about school. Firstly, Charlotte has never been alone with anyone besides me, the Mama, and her grandparents. Secondly, I have never been alone without Charlotte for a full 24 hours. We have spent everyday together since birth. For me to now just hand over to a room full of strangers who don't know every inch of her specialness seems very wrong to me. I know, I know! Some people are saying "just do it! She will adjust quickly. This will help socialize her. It will give you a break."

I have never been one to listen to other people with regards to my children. If I had, I would of ended up giving birth to her by cesarean in a hospital shoving formula into her for four months until I went back to work, as per my mother's suggestion. Since she was born I have always felt an overwhelming sensation to protect, bond, love, teach and nurture this being solely (with the help of The Papa, the G-units (grandpa and ma), and the Earth). Yes, the vision that I have for my daughter's future is a strong reflection of my ideals. I don't believe that she alone can change the world, but I believe her spirit could lead others to work towards that positive change. I want her to love the Earth, embrace knowledge, respect herself, never be bullied, value family, eat vegan food and live in a handmade world. I don't want her to fear the world or feel disempowered.

The school that we had decided to send her to after almost half-a-year's contemplation, practices the Montessori philosophy. And while I embrace a lot of their structured approaches, I do not embrace the barbaric and overbearing educator who was to be side-by-side with my daughter for her learning days. This particular educator fails to exude any warmth and I have been told on many occasions of her attempt to belittle the children, disengage from connectedness and insight fear.

At this point, we are not too keen on other school systems either. The prospect of sending a vegan shy orchid child to a full-day school in the Ontario public system is literally throwing her to the wolves. The Waldorf school most aligns with our views of the world and our love of European education.

Homeschooling, at least until the age of entering Grade 1 or the age at which she could attend Kingston's Waldorf school, is the plan. This ultimately means for me a great sacrifice but an even greater responsibility. In September I was going to embark on a 365 day challenge of incorporating Earth-Motherness into our family. The blog was going to chronicle the happenings. However, for the rest of the summer I have decided to spend my time scheduling, researching and compiling a curriculum for Charlotte that combines all things that would enrich her life and express our values.

Please keep a watch as we journey. And please if you have any links, ideas, resources, send them my way.


The Mama

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