(DISCLAIMER:  This post is in no way meant to pass judgment on anyone for their choices.  We all have differing reasons for how we choose to raise our children.  I love all people and know how difficult it is to make a choice, especially when it concerns those we love most.  This is a post to share what we think is right for our family.  We all must make informed decisions.)

When our first child was born, we were faced with many decisions.  The Papa is a vegan and he wanted to raise our children as such.  But we did our research and came to the unanimous decision that they would never consume animal products or by-products.  The nay-sayers questioned us.  We never balked.  We knew that vegan could be done healthily.  It means careful considerations to the food they eat but we knew that fully their nutritional needs would be met.

We wondered about schooling.  For us and our babe, homeschooling is the best option.  We faced much criticism with this choice.  Friends were lost.  Family continuously tried to impart their beliefs on us.  Yet, we continue to follow our nature-based and no-pressure schooling method in our home.

Deciding where to call home was another consideration.  Should we leave family and raise our children elsewhere or stay close to our hometown, where we could have the physical support while maintaining relationships and ties to that which we find familiar?  We decided to settle in a small town that was close to those we love while providing us with an autonomy and ability to foster and grow our own community.

These were all heavy choices.  But the most burdensome decision to date has been whether to vaccinate.  When the eldest was born, there was great talk about the correlation between autism and vaccines.  There was also great debate surrounding the harmful effects of the ingredients in the vaccines.  We were certain that we did not want to potentially expose our daughter to something that could leave her a shell of herself, make her numb to a world that was so amazing.

For months we avoided the vaccines.  Our doctor was non-judgmental, which was helpful.  He simply informed us of our options, gave us reading materials (1000 page textbooks on the subject) and left us to come to our own conclusions.  I thank him for that.  In the end, we decided on a delayed schedule for the babes.

This month, there was an outbreak of measles in Disneyland.  Those too young to be vaccinated were affected.  Vermont, several years ago if I recall, experienced a similar outbreak where many unvaccinated children came down with whooping cough.  The news was frightening, but really didn't affect me.  My heart sank for the poor parents of the babies who could die because of the relentless coughing which could cause starvation and collapsing of lungs.

But then...in my own town...whooping cough appeared.  Fear overcame me.  We have a babe of one month.  If she was to come in contact with this, she could DIE!  All the protective forces inside me emerged.  I refused to take her to public spots in town.  Luckily, it is winter and staying inside is part of the plan.  I waited anxiously for that two month visit where two needles would be stabbed into her tiny thighs.  My fingers were crossed daily that no one I had come in contact with would carry this terrifying illness and infect my babe.

Last week she got her needles.  A sigh of relief.  Sometimes we must look science straight in the face, push back all that we thought we knew to be true and decide, "fuck it!".  Their lives are so important. And what if?  I couldn't live with myself if my decision led to them not being in my life.  Life wouldn't be worth living.

So for the next few years, she will be stabbed continuously with those scary needles.  But you know what is scarier, not having those cute little legs to stab.


  1. I love the way you articulated why you made this decision. I was filled with angst with my oldest as well for the exact same reasons. Pat was 100% supportive of whatever I decided...which sounds great, but that just meant - to my new momma mind - that if anything went wrong it would be all my fault. In the end I made the decision to vaccinate as I knew I would never forgive myself if any of my babes got sick or die from a disease I could have prevented.
    Well written!

    1. Thanks Terri! It is a difficult decision but for us, if they contracted something because of our decision not to vaccinate, we just couldn't live with ourselves. I feel for every parent making these choices. We've got a heavy job


Leave a Message Lovelies...