Our Hallowe'en, The Ushering in of a Second Anniversary

It is a day that holds a special place in my heart, because it is the day that I took the name of the Papa and the Babes and became his wife.  Our wedding, was awesome, in my opinion.  (Links to the wedding can be found here, here, and here).  We decided to have our wedding on this day for several reasons:

1. It is ultimately the best day of the year- the ushering in of the dead and colliding of worlds:  Samhain (sow-in) - the day marked the end of summer and the harvest and the beginning of the dark, cold winter, a time of year that was often associated with human death. Celts believed that on the night before the new year, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred. On the night of October 31 they celebrated Samhain, when it was believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth. In addition to causing trouble and damaging crops, Celts thought that the presence of the otherworldly spirits made it easier for the Druids, or Celtic priests, to make predictions about the future. For a people entirely dependent on the volatile natural world, these prophecies were an important source of comfort and direction during the long, dark winter.  (taken from the historychannel website).
2. We get to dress up and transform.
3. The Babes can celebrate and the day becomes about the fun.  It distracts from the commercialism of the anniversary.  No dinner date to be planned or waiting in the wings for a sparkly gift.  Just utter fun!!

This year we spent the month decorating the home with black paper bats, spider webs, dolls, pumpkins.  This Mama decided to stay home and be with the sleeping Littlest of Babes.  For a holiday that I absolutely love and adore, I absolutely DETEST trick or treating.  There is something about knocking on the door of a stranger and begging for something that will attack my immune system that I am just not into.  So, the Papa took the Mermaid Babes on the candy hunt.  

(NOTE:  we are vegan so to be clear:  Gnomes will collect the candy to insulate their homes for winter and leave a literary and vegan treat)

The Papa arrived home at 7 o'clock after being away since before the sun rose.  He was exhausted but ever so excited to take out his Babes.  We did not really see each other and he fell asleep.  Anniversary ended.  It was a bit defeating.  Although we had exchanged our handmade traditional gifts (COTTON for Second Year Anniversary - so we embroidered our own hankerchiefs from recycled fabric) the night before, I just yearned to tell my best friend and love of my life how much he meant to me, but he fell asleep before I had the chance.

We exchange these words everyday, but I associate (society associates?) so much meaning with the DAY, that I in turn felt the day pass without meaning. 

So today I try to look past the exhaustion and disconnection that we both feel.  We acknowledge the difficulty with a lengthy commute, tired eyes and adjustment to a life with three Babes.  We remember we love in each other.

To our today and future tomorrows

xoxox

The Mama

xoxox  

TAT.TUES. (that's Tattoo Tuesday pronounced TATTOOS) vol. 1.

Tattoos are a really important part of my life, for reasons that are purely deep and personal. I am not that person who randomly picked some flash off the wall or stumbled in drunk to get my here-for-the-moment boyfriend tattooed on me (although the spontaneity of that scenario gets me in a cool way). I am the person who chose to represent two of the things that occupy my mind daily on my body. My tattoos are a constant reminder of love, struggle, and overcoming loss to become the person that I am. My goal with TAT.TUES. is to present tattoos from people who are covered with tats and represent their story. Some may be personal stories, some may just be silly representations of themselves, some may be because of said stumbling into the parlour. Regardless, each tatted person is still a person. And while their tats don't necessarily define them, they become part of the person they are or are becoming.

Vol. I. The Tattooed Mama of The Mess in Messenger

name: Crystal Grier A.K.A. the Mama

occupation: Mama of The Mess & wife to cuddly courier, professional blogger

website: themessinmessenger.blogspot.com

age of first tat: 21 ish. i went with my lame boyfriend at the time who drifted off to go hit on a tatted girl in the parlour as i got ink put into my back...on my spine!

fave tat: they each hold a special place in my heart but i would have to say the portrait tat of my grandfather. he is the most special man in my life, next to my husband, The Papa. i think of him each day.

how many tats in total & description of each (including location and style):

3 tats. My fave as i mentioned is of my grandfather. it is a black and white portrait taken from a small photobooth picture from the 70s. it looks very frankensteiny. the first tat i got was of the words dulcius ex asperis meaning "through difficulty comes sweetness". it is in reference to a overcoming a psychological hurdle. but i apply the phrase to all aspects of struggle in my life. the last is of flowers surrounding this phrase with a butterfly landing on the petals. it covers the majority of my back. it initially was supposed to be a butterfly starting at my shoulders and struggling through the wind to get to the flower, but i found the pain unbearable and stopped after 4 sittings.

do you plan on getting more? and what are you thinking?: yes! yes! and yes! totally depends on available funds and ideas. i am hoping for:

* a zombie apocalypse half sleeve

* a zombie piece my megan lara on my back leg

* a phrase of my daughter's on my forearm in script

* and a chest tat referencing The Lorax

what is the thought process behind your tats?: my tats so far have all been very personal and thought out. i would love to get some tats that are ironic or funny but i feel like my body is still a reflection of my thoughts and i want my tats to reflect that. i also want them to reflect my interests and the loves of my life: my Babes.

any funny or crazy experiences: my mom was super against them at first, so i just hid them from her. most older people are amazed at the detail in my portrait of my grandfather. but recently i remember going to a bbq at my hubby's cottage. it is an end of the year thing with neighbours, mostly over 60, who get together and have a potluck. you know the kind with pemento meat and marshmallow salads. well, of our family, i, my hubby, his sis and our bro in law, all have tats. mine and the Papa's sister's tats equal a total of 4 and there must be over 20 between the guys. mine however was the only visible one. we came to the table of gaggling hens and it suddenly became quiet. i never assume but i thought the tats were the subject of conversation. ... they were. they had all been secretly discussing our rejection of societal norms and the heaven forbids of permanently altering our bods for life. although i am not one to like the cliques and whispers, i found this experience funny. just people not knowing voicing their opinions amongst like-minded individuals.

advice for anyone wanting a tat?: never get a portrait of a living person. eat and hydrate (with water) before the tat. research your tat artist. you pay for what you get...so expect a charge of $100 per hour. never feel pressured by the artist to get it done until you are satisfied. your back and other areas close to the bone HURT!!! i can say this because i have given birth to 2 babes naturally. i would much rather prefer birth to back tats.

And for your reading pleasure my tat story...

I had told the Papa that I wanted desperately to have my grandfather walk me down the aisle but because he passed away when I was 13, it wasn't going to happen. So I wanted to get a portrait tat of him. This was my gift on Christmas Day from my Secret Santa. A portrait of great Grandpa Ernest. Grandpa was amazing. He was gentle, solemn, a hard worker. He loved his family but had a special place in his heart for me and my sis, seeing as we were the youngest and only girls of all the eleven boy cousins. We were his sweethearts.

After searching for months in Montreal, I found an amazing artist. This is the man whom I have measured all against and whom only the Papa had succeeded in matching. It had to be perfect. So the Papa took off work, I went to Adrenaline Tattoo Studios on Sherbrooke. I sat for 4 hours with breaks in between. Robin Labreche, the artist, invited me to dine on cheese pizza in the staff lounge. It was awesome. He was professional. The tat is amazing!

I LOVE YOU GRANDPA!

And then there were 4 Griers...

This weekend was amazing!!! For over a year we had known that we would be getting married, but it hadn't always been a definite. I was always wanting to be a Grier, and share the same name with a family that loves me and children whom I created. Allen wasn't necessarily sitting on the fence, he just held the belief that because he knew that we were going to be together forever, why do we need to walk down the aisle. It wasn't until his sister got married last year that ideas in his head started to change. He saw how amazing and happy El and John were and I think he wanted to embrace and share that happiness. So before El got married we decided, me pregnant to "take the plunge" so they say. Who are "they", you may ask? Well, I don't know. But I dove in a long time ago into this relationship. But together we swim, not sink.

I have been with Allen for over 5 years and in that time we have grown literally and figuratively. Allen went from he and Alley to loving me to making babies. We love each other, share with each other. We are each other's best friends. We don't complete each other but feel complete love when with each other.

Our wedding has been in the works for a while now. There were the moments (many I must admit) where I bombarded him with my wedding visions. I would spend hours surfing the web on wedding blogs and Etsy, determined to, dare I say, CRAFT, the perfect day. After a few months of lacking articulation and oozing confusion, we agreed that I had to pull back.

But after planning the majority of the wedding from afar, in Montreal and Perth, it came together this past weekend. On Friday we arrived in town to unload and organize, on Saturday we had baked and decorated 148 cupcakes (with the help of Alyssa, El, Manda Panda - who also contributed a really cool pump, icing and vegan marshmallows, Tonya - who baked the most delectable and perfect of the bunch, and Allen - who did most of the icing).

Sunday wasn't the crazy whirlwind I had imagined but a coming together of all the right people to make the right moment. I MUST SAY I AM BLISSED OUT!!! We were surrounded by love and with love we enter this new chapter of our lives. I love you all!!!

There will be photos up in a matter of time. Our photographers need to process and edit.

A link to our officiant's blog post about the ceremony is here

A link to the wedding cake design from Auntie Loo's is here

xoxoxo

My Cousin Jon's Wedding to the Beautiful Rachel

Reminding us whose wedding we are at

Cute little silhouette, albeit

Favour Containers

Table No. 17 - OURS

Cousin Anthony

The Happy Couple

Amazing and Emotional

The Bride Rachel and love of Jon's life

My Aunt Debbie and Uncle Bruce who have been married for 31 years!

Me and the Harriet Unit

The Newest Addition to the Family - Elina!

I remember fondly my childhood with my cousin Jon. Four of us are close in age: Greg, me (separated by a year), Jon (a year separated from me) and Ash (a year separated from Jon). We lived in the same neighbourhoods, had the same babysitters and went to the same highschool. Charlotte, Harriet, Anthony and Elina have a similar thing going on.

It was such a great day. My cousin exchanged vows with Rachel at Tabaret Hall, my old Ottawa U stomping grounds. It was absolutely amazing. She looked beautiful. I swear each song chosen to walk down the aisle was played with the intention of making me cry. My side of the family is very emotional and tears were streaming everywhere.

After the ceremony, we all left to dine at Capone's Catering. The hall was amazingly decorated. There were personal touches everywhere: miniature sweet silhouettes of the couple, the continuity of the blue and white theme, candy jars at each table for us to fill and mingle. It was such an amazing time and so nice to see my cousin find love. Welcome to the family Rachel and your beautiful daughter!