BABY SHOWER.

Thanks to all the lovely ladies who made my one and only baby shower awesome.  I wanted to celebrate with all the strong, amazing women in my life.  It was my last hoorah before being thrust into motherhood with 4 babes.

I decided to hold my shower at Back Beat.  It is a local record and book boutique that I adore.  The owners are knowledgeable and friendly (well friends).  They have turned this small little store into such a cozy loved spot.  Thanks Christine and Dan!

In lieu of preparing a massive meal or hiring a caterer, I asked each guest to bring a small item to share.  These are the kinds of ladies that are all amazing cooks, foodies.  My friend Nicole made an amazing cake inspired by Alice in Wonderland.  Abs made cupcakes and adorable shortbread cookies in the same theme.  Krista prepped amazing wontons.  Sarah-Jane a magnificent dip.  Erin brought a delish punch.  Kate an apple dip goodie.  Miriam delicious tarts.  There was more but I was too busy enjoying to keep track.   

The theme of the party was literary.  I prepared a little quiz where the guests had to match up famous children's book quotes with their author.  I think I stressed everyone out a little.  But it was all in good fun.

On Sundays, I volunteer at the library and I happened to find a beautiful book in the used book section written and illustrated by a naturalist (I believe).  I thought, considering we were naming the babe IVY that the book would serve as a great place to write notes to the babe.  I hope she cherishes the notes from those who knew me best.  Their advice and thoughts were beautiful and will always be remembered by me.

 

Just me and the girls hanging out.

 

Thank you ladies for such an amazing time!  I felt so loved and was so honoured to have you celebrate my last pregnancy and this little babe.

PERSONAL THANK YOUS TO MY GUESTS

Alyssa:  You are the godmother to all of my precious babes and have followed me on my motherhood journey since day one.  I love you to bits and I will always remember your surprise.  Coming all the way from Ottawa to share this special day with me brought me to tears.  I love you so much.

Abs and Jax:  You are one amazing duo.  You both brighten my life and get me in ways that no other could.  Thank you for the cute little moustache tights and birdie tights.  You get me!

Chenoa:  Thank you for coming to the party and accepting my desire to get to know you more.  I look forward to our school journey with our babes.

Kate:  What can I say?  We are two peas in a pod.  Your generous gifts extend beyond the cuteness from the party.  I can't wait for her to sip from her Alice and Wonderland cup and wear the cute little onesies.

Anais:  You are a stellar mom and artist.  I am blessed to have you in my inner circle.  Your gift did wonders for soothing me while in labour.  Allen now uses it to calm the babes while reading stories by candlelight.

Amanda:  For a while there we were both part of the mom of three club.  You are doing an amazing job!  I appreciate you so much.  Thanks for gifting exactly what I asked for ;)

Nicole:  Uh!  Spending all day making me a shower cake while sick.  Stellar.  Love the baby milestone cards. I am using them as Ivy reaches these milestones, although sometimes I get a little behind.

Krista:  First of all...can you make me those wontons everyday of my life?  Thank you for not only making three amazing babes that my babes get to have the pleasure of playing with, but for being an awesome lady.  The girls went mad over the gifts and claimed some as their own.  Ivy frequently wears the tie at the end sleeper (why did I never use those?) and most nights, when we remember, we use the 365 question book.  The girls are eager for a question.

Miche:  You are such an amazing Mama!  I have watched you do your amazing job of raising two boys for 4 years now in awe.  You are a woman of grace, with no complaints.  Beautiful through and through.  I love you to bits and wish I had an ounce of your style and design ability.  Thank you so much for the handmade onesies (it was Ivy's first piece of clothing).  Lipstick is so sexy and the plant rests nicely on the mantle in a glass skull.

Miriam:  I adore you so much.  You welcomed me with open arms when I came to this lovely town.  Makers gonna make!  The first item of clothing I bought was a beautiful dress made by you for dear Charlotte at Christmas time.  I am so amazed at your talents and your unrelenting love for others.  You have not only gifted me with your presence in my life but you are beyond generous with clothes and items for my babes.  Thank you so much for your gift for Ivy.  Definitely well used.

Sarah-Jane:  You are a rock in my life!  I have shared so much of myself with you and it is nice to know that you accept me for all that I am.  You never ask for anything in return.  Love you.

Reyna:  Love you babe!  I am glad you are in my life and that my daughters have the opportunity to grow up with such a great role model.  Love you. (P.S. thanks both you and Sarah for the lovely gift card - plan to use it shortly).

Erin:  You are such a great addition to my life.  I love your spirit and your desire to help others.  You have amazing children and it is amazing to see your influence in their special lives.  Thank you for making it to the shower and showering me with love.  

Christine:  Thank you!  Thank you!  For letting us host the party in your store.  The handmade blanket and mobile and the thoughtful gifts for the babes were awesome.  I look forward to spending the New Year in Back Beat sipping tea and chatting with you.

A BIRTH STORY: IVY ADELINE JOLLIET

The littlest of babes is 2 weeks old.  It is hard to believe that she was inside of me such a short time ago.  To finally have her on the outside is so amazing.  Surreal.  To nurture a little being for almost nine months and then to finally meet them is bizarre and amazing all at once.  I truly know nothing about her but now I have a lifetime to learn.

I wanted to share my birth story for two reasons.  Firstly, although it happened such a short time ago, I feel if I do not write it down shortly, I will forever lose the important details that make her entry into the world uniquely hers.  Secondly, it was a birth that I have experienced like none other and I wanted to share that with my followers and friends.  Yes...I have had 3 natural births.  I advocated for that and was confident that I could birth naturally again.  Yes...this time I had the epidural.  Yes...I liked it.

So let me begin...Friday started like any other.  On this day, my eldest is home from school so I like to spend all day with all my babes.  We usually, after a very relaxed morning, head to a friend's house for a playdate.  I wanted to go over particularly on this day because I was feeling uncomfortable and she is an amazing help.  Plus, I just wanted to see her after.  She had been super busy lately and we needed to catch up.  All the girls came to the house to play with the children of this particular friend and the children of my other good friends.  (These girls were the first ones I told I was pregnant during a hot tub night when I had to explain no drinking or hot water for me.)

The uncomfortable feeling continued.  It was in my lower back and continued to go around to the front.  This pregnancy was riddled with pain and discomfort, so I honestly felt nothing of it.  After an hour or so of being with my friends, and having them convinced that I actually was in labour (and also the fact that some mucous was now evident) I left to go get my cell phone at home.  I called my midwife and she wasn't alarmed but did inform me that if things progressed to head to the city to the Birthing Centre.

At this point, I also called the Papa to say I think I may be in labour, but no rush.  I was still in complete denial.  I returned to my friend's house where all my mama friends began to inform me of what they thought was actually happening and that this baby was going to be born soon.  (They were completely right!)  Funnily enough, I had a pre-natal massage booked in the afternoon.  I called them to cancel with this "labour excuse".  I was just feeling uncomfortable and didn't really want someone massaging my painful bits.  Little did I know...I was actually in labour!!

The Papa, at around 3 in the afternoon, got home and picked all his babes up from my friend's house. There was humorous talk about the baby being born, humorous only because I was still denying the fact that this was happening.  Around 5 o'clock, it was evident that the contractions were coming on strong and consistently spaced.  We made the decision to make the hour long drive into the city with the Babes.

The next hour and a half was a frantic getting together of night and day wear for the three older babes, a bag of clothing and necessities for the new babe, a camera, and birthing bag.  Poor Papa was doing his best to comfort me with my contractions while making all the preparations.

The G-units were called and after a long drive and stop at Starbucks for ice chips and raspberry iced tea, we arrived in Ottawa.  Upon seeing the Papa's mama I instantly cried.  Seeing her was comforting and emotional.  She was going to welcome her 6th grand baby and I was responsible for bringing this little babe to the world, when I was so full of fear.

We bid the babes adieu and headed to the Birthing Centre at around 8 pm.  My amazing midwives were there waiting for us.  Paula had seen the birth of 2 of my babes.  So when I saw her I immediately cried too.  Hormones must have been strong.  Paula is amazing and strong and I trust her completely.  Helen, the student midwife sent from above, was exceptional in every capacity and I know she is going to make the best of midwives.  It was she who assessed me and informed me that I was 4cm dilated and that she was going to give me a sweep to get the labour really going.

After the assessment, the Papa and I headed to a television room.  The pain was becoming unbearable.  It was not long after that that I decided to head into the birthing room.  It was beautiful and warm.  The tub was the biggest I had ever seen.  However, I was informed that I was not going to be able to birth in there.  I am uncertain if this knowledge, psychologically affected me in a negative way, but the contractions became more intense and a pain I do not remember ever experiencing with any of the other babes.  I began to swing from the bed.  Bounce on a balance ball.  Wash myself in the shower as a contraction would sweep over me.  There was a lot of on my hands and knees action.

At around 10pm I had too much, and asked for my epidural.  The midwives complied and I was transferred via our van to the hospital.  Immediately after we left the Centre, my contractions were tolerable.  Knowing that I would receive pain relief, I believe, eased my mind of worry I didn't know I possessed.  The Papa didn't even realize I had contractions in the half an hour drive because I was not experiencing them with such intensity as before.

Once registered and admitted to the hospital, we waited patiently for the anesthesiologist.  The two hour wait included me vomiting, a common symptom of my labours, and my mucous plug expelling itself during one of my wrenching episodes.  At around midnight he administered the epidural.  I had never received one before.  As a Mama of only natural births, one may think I was concerned about the epidural.  Prior to labour, I was.  Would there be an invasive delivery (one that required forceps or vacuum)?  Would my babe react negatively to the drugs?  Would I react negatively to the drugs?  All the fear dissipated when I needed relief.

When administered, I wasn't immediately in relief.  My water broke (something that had never happened before) and my entire right side could still feel the contractions.  My heartbeat also became quite fast (140) and Ivy girl's dropped.  I was put on oxygen instantly and there was concern that if we did not get her out soon, something could be wrong.

I was asked to give strong pushes.  I listened.  Ivy Adeline Jolliet was born at 1:24 am on November 22nd.  She was slightly cold but healthy.  She came fast so there remained a little mucous in her lungs.  She nursed for almost an hour and a half.  It must have been a lot of work to turn out so cute.  It was evident after the birth that my body was becoming covered in a rash.  I had an allergic reaction to the epidural.  We would have to stay longer to be monitored.

After what seemed like an endless stay in a semi-private room with a Mama who wouldn't stop talking, we were released and headed home with this cuteness to enjoy the bliss and recover.

This pregnancy is over.  My belly will never hold another babe again.  There are many emotions associated with this definitive decision.  At another time, I will delve into that.  But for now, we relish in the fact that we created this amazing being who is so loved by all, especially the eldest babes.

BABY BUMP CRAVINGS: TATERS SMOTHERED IN GRAVY

So I made the Papa venture to the store to pick up a vegan mushroom gravy and packaged tater tots.  I am not the sweetest of fans and this pregnancy has mostly been a savoury one (Could it be a boy?).  It may be the last of such gluttony due to the fact that acid reflux has come on hard the past couple days.  But they were oh so good!  I'll be making some homemade stuff soon but as the Eldest Babe and I agree:  "AWESOME!!"

Happy MoFo!  And I'm still looking for pregnancy recipe ideas.  Get in my belly!

WHAT THE MAMA WORE: BUMP HUMP

This lovely dress has been sitting in my closet for over a year.  I bought it from a ModCloth when I was close to my pre baby weight with Vye.  I never felt confident enough to wear it because I was bigger up top.  But now I am big all over and it fits nicely with my curves.  There is the cutest Peter Pan collar that ties in the back.  The black lace gives a nice elegance and it so light and airy.  I feel like a fairy.  The copper dress underneath, on a non-pregnant lady would fall nicely to the base of the dress where the lace ends.  I kind of like how it falls on my pregnant frame, ending just where the floral lace ends.  As the pregnancy continues I will continue to find comfy wears.  Please suggest some if you know of them ladies.

IT'S A.....

ALIEN.  Third ultrasound is under our belt and this babe looks healthy and beautiful.  But sure is it stubborn!  Last ultrasound the baby was in a butt down position.  I must say, we were a bit disappointed.  The technician was immediately rude to me when she saw that we brought the kids.  The babes had to hang back with the Papa and the first 40 minutes of the ultrasound she did not let me look at the screen, confirm that the babe had a heartbeat or say anything to me.  I almost burst into tears.  I mean I am definitely emotional being pregnant.  But when the Papa came in, he asked, when her head was turned, if I was alright and if she was rude.  Her lack of bedside manner was apparent and I'm so glad I didn't concoct the situation in my head.  Also, nice to know the Papa got my back.  After the babes came in, she warmed up a bit and it isn't her fault that the babe didn't reveal anything down there.  Still disappointing nonetheless.

Today, I headed to the appointment with excitement.  My technician was great.  I have had her before when I was trying to figure out my health issues.  The babe however was not, technically speaking.  The babe has the cutest nose but the most stubborn of personalities.  At present, the babe is BREECH, butt down.  This could change as the pregnancy progresses.  This position however made it difficult to determine sex, see a profile and check the ventricles of the heart.  I was instructed to move several times and then instructed to move about and eat some sweets.  The babe continued to have legs crossed and cover its face with its hands.  Very shy indeed.

No confirmation in hand, I left a little broken hearted.

Why do I want to know soooo bad?

1.   Some people love surprises.  I am not one of those people.  I have never been one okay with flying by the seat of my pants.  I like to prepare and know what I'm getting myself into.  Far from spontaneous, very little adventure:  that's me.  SOOO vanilla.

2.  Baby name.  For us, we like to assign the thing inside us a name to connect with it.  It somehow, for us becomes so much more real when we say hello to the little babe by name.

3.  The gender could mean a whole new wardrobe and a new room appointment.  We are not gender specific dressers, but we have a lot of what some would call female clothes (dresses, florals, colours). If we did have a boy I would want to make a cool wardrobe from scratch.

4.  WHAT does one do with a boy when all I've raised is girls?  A question that may need to be answered.

BUMP WATCH 2014: PREGNANCY JOURNALS

The last time I wrote I was nearing the end of the first trimester.  There are wives tales of sickness ending as you enter your second.  For me, this has never been true.  My mornings are plagued by terrible sickness that lingers throughout the day and then comes on strong again in the afternoon lasting well into the evening.  It is quite defeating.  The times I would most like to be spending with my babes are spent nursing my tummy and splitting headaches.  There are moments and times I cannot ever get back.  I am a go getter and naturally an idealist.  But dreams and art ideas never come to fruition because my physical being tells me no and my mind just doesn't want to go there.  I wait desperately for the Papa to come home, for some sort of release.  He jumps in feet first, without complaint or hesitation.  There is a gratitude that I have but a heavy guilt.  His time is precious with each of us and his is mostly spent picking up my pregnant sick body slack.

Some may be wondering "why subject yourself to a fourth sick pregnancy?"  The sickness is temporary and in fact, is not a sickness at all.  My body is doing what it does naturally to grow a human being.  That's a lot of work.  I am a vessel for this life and will subject myself to the forces of nature.  The end result is beautiful by the way.  There is no love greater than that between mother and babe.  That is what I live for.

So thank you my little big family for doing all that you can to ease my thoughts and sickness at present.  I am so full of gratitude.

GESTATION:  16 Weeks!  The babe is now the size of an avocado which my sister tells me also takes 9 months to reach fruitfulness.  I am sure I felt movement, but I could be crazy.  I am out of the first trimester and the sickness resides.

CRAVINGS:  Food please!  If you mention it I want it, NOW!  Masterchef is my nemesis.  They recently did a seafood challenge and I couldn't stop thinking about a lobster mac and cheese.  Obviously I didn't have any

MANTRAS:  I am determined to have a positive birthing experience. I have been reading the Mongan Method's Hypnobirthing Philosophy and it has been really helpful (will discuss in a later post.)

39 Week Baby Bump Watch

39 Weeks and the Littlest of Babes is still living inside.  I desperately want to be one instead of two again.  Pregnancy has not been a walk in the park.  There is no blissful Mama here.  My friends are lovely and encouraging.  I could not ask for more precious beings.  But I would be lying if I said that those who experience amazing pregnant feelings and express them to me don't leave me resentful.  It is really hard being a Mama who begrudges the beauty of pregnancy.  But for me it has never been that.  And for me when I run into the belly rubbing glowing Mamas, although not their intention, I feel unwelcome, judged, ostracized and less than woman.

Since the beginning of this pregnancy I have been ill.  I have been forced to lay in bed, losing out on experiences with my loves and life.  There was so much planned in the way of crafting, my release, for this babe.  But all I could do was lay like a lump, my mind numbing.  The effort to even think, contemplate, review has been unbearable.  For almost three quarters of a revolution around the sun I have been a shell of myself while being the shell for another.  It has been defeating and guilt-ridden.

I look with hope to the arrival of the new babe.  She will bring promise and joy and precious innocence.  She will also bring a rejuvenation to motherhood which I yearn.  There is no mistaking that this little being is propelling me and I will love her.  The experience has never shaken that.  We will be blessed by pureness.

So please Littlest of Babes, arrive soon by your choosing.  We wish to meet you and I wish for you to meet your Mama.

37 (and 2 days) Week Baby Bump Watch

The bun is still baking in the oven, although yesterday I spent 12 hours in false/preparatory back labour.    But although it was constant, it was not increasing in strength or in intervals.  Back pain is a daily frustration along with the stimulation of two young girls while I would like to rest and work through the pain.  The decision to homeschool for us is a great one.  Although it is a personal choice - also one based on research - I cannot imagine changing the rhythm of the day and pushing the Eldest Babe away just as a new member of the family is entering.  The Littlest Babe just stated today that she didn't want her big sister at school.  Their bond is crazy strong and the separation anxiety would be too much.

We officially start our intro to homeschool next week, which could be up in the air just based on the arrival of the Littlest of Babes.  It really isn't an intense curriculum as it shouldn't be.  It incorporates Montessori learning with regards to writing, reading and arithmetic with no pressure.  Our day will follow rhythms of breathing in and breathing out and will incorporate a lot of natural learning, play and fresh air and of course baking and art.  It isn't a strict structure and I have been working on some learning materials (as we cannot afford a lot of materials and I love crafting!).  It will work for our family, we believe.

Here are some of my fave Etsy finds that I plan on designing for this year's pre-kindergarten curriculum:

 Apple n Amos

 The Handmade Classroom

Tofufu Studio

Collette Bream 

And my Fave websites / articles so far to guide my journey:

Bleubird Vintage's Journey with Homeschooling
Zander Sherman information
DIY Learning Toys
Made by Joel

Hope all Mamas and Papas, regardless of their September plans, are enjoying their moments and happiness.

xoxo

The Mama

36 and 1/2 Week (and closely counting) Baby Bump Watch

In about 4 days I can officially have a homebirth!  We are excited this last birthing time for this prospect but even if it doesn't happen we are excited regardless.  After a discussion with our midwife we have decided to not birth in our actual home but close to the hospital with which she has privileges.  If an emergency is to happen and transportation necessary it would be better for our birth experience and the babe to be close to the hospital that grants full privileges to our midwife, rather than one that would exclude her from helping me birth.  It creates a bit of a complication logistically speaking but we are well prepared.

This Mama is feeling great most of the time.  I've been having contractions and lower back pain but false labours are just part of being a third time pregnant mama.  Today I looked at a picture of me in the garden the day before my Eldest Babe was born and I am definitely bigger at 36 1/2 weeks than I was at 39.  It definitely is wearing and stretching me but soon this babe will arrive in all her perfection.

The babes have been role playing a lot, taking turns being Mama and Babe.  It is definitely amazing to watch.  The way in which they talk to each other is so flattering.  It is partly innate but they are modelling my mothering behavior of tenderness, gentleness and understanding.  They settle each other with gentle words and rub each other's heads.  The Littlest Babe I feel will have a difficult time.  She is already struggling with her conflicting views on being "little big" or "medium" as her sister likes to remind her.  She is quite forceful with me.  This is the same thing that happened around her birth from the Eldest Babe.  I just ride it out and continue to show I love them.

We ventured into the city to create little itty bitty piggies at a paint-your-own ceramic studio.  The Babes had a blast and also had the special treats of lollipops and vegan Chinese food (which I was hoping to induce labour).

Must now go and venture to view a movie feature in the park and chew on some ice.  Maybe next time we chat the Littlest Babes will have arrived!

xoxo

The Mama

34 Weeks Baby Bump Watch

I feel that I am so close to the end now and so excited!  Although I continue to nest this Mama has relaxed on that front a little.  Our little home is a buzz with me trying new recipes and catching up on some much needed reading relating specifically to nutrition and birthing.  Most days I am exasperated and I have had to get the Papa to help me put on my shoes (I usually keep them on if I go places just because I can't take them off and the thought of the struggle tires me out).

Earlier in the week we ventured to our amazing midwife to have a meeting.  I am measuring exactly with my gestation which only concerns me on the baby ready front because I have never been shown exactly!  Could this mean baby is getting ready to show themselves to the world sooner rather than later?  A close family friend of the Papa is overdue and frustrated.  She is definitely amazingly beautiful when pregnant...a real earth mama...but I am empathetic to her feelings of "get this babe out of me".  Trust me, once 36 weeks rolls around I will be trying many of these naturally inducing methods in this article.

One of my serious concerns has been the car seat situation.  This evening however, the Papa informed me that all car seats fit!  Relief.  No need to purchase a minivan although by the Littlest Babes's next birthday we will be in the market.  I dream of museum, art gallery and slam poet visits during the week.

xoxo  The Mama