BONDING WITH BABE

Our dear Ivy was born almost 4 weeks ago.  We are completely enamoured with this babe.  From the moment she came home to meet her three older sisters, it was obvious that she was loved and would be adored and protected.  She has not been the easiest.  If she senses any slight discomfort or that I am no longer present, she instantly breaks into a blood curdling crying fit that would leave any onlooker to believe I've been neglecting her for hours.  Oh, and she loves the early morning hours between two and five o'clock to resist settling.  Those are her best times to be up.  A real owl...an exceptionally cute one.   

The babes are not bothered by any of this.  At any sign of her being awake, including those inconsolable cries, the babes rush to her side.  They love looking into her eyes and act as though it is their most important duty to calm her.  For them, each moment that her eyes are open presents an opportunity for holding.  They incessantly, with patience and without annoyance or anger, ask for time to hold her.  It is quite amazing to see them hold her just as a Mama would, their Mama.  It gives me a lot of comfort and joy to see them treat her with gentle hands and hearts.  I like to think they are mimicking that which they know.

A BIRTH STORY: IVY ADELINE JOLLIET

The littlest of babes is 2 weeks old.  It is hard to believe that she was inside of me such a short time ago.  To finally have her on the outside is so amazing.  Surreal.  To nurture a little being for almost nine months and then to finally meet them is bizarre and amazing all at once.  I truly know nothing about her but now I have a lifetime to learn.

I wanted to share my birth story for two reasons.  Firstly, although it happened such a short time ago, I feel if I do not write it down shortly, I will forever lose the important details that make her entry into the world uniquely hers.  Secondly, it was a birth that I have experienced like none other and I wanted to share that with my followers and friends.  Yes...I have had 3 natural births.  I advocated for that and was confident that I could birth naturally again.  Yes...this time I had the epidural.  Yes...I liked it.

So let me begin...Friday started like any other.  On this day, my eldest is home from school so I like to spend all day with all my babes.  We usually, after a very relaxed morning, head to a friend's house for a playdate.  I wanted to go over particularly on this day because I was feeling uncomfortable and she is an amazing help.  Plus, I just wanted to see her after.  She had been super busy lately and we needed to catch up.  All the girls came to the house to play with the children of this particular friend and the children of my other good friends.  (These girls were the first ones I told I was pregnant during a hot tub night when I had to explain no drinking or hot water for me.)

The uncomfortable feeling continued.  It was in my lower back and continued to go around to the front.  This pregnancy was riddled with pain and discomfort, so I honestly felt nothing of it.  After an hour or so of being with my friends, and having them convinced that I actually was in labour (and also the fact that some mucous was now evident) I left to go get my cell phone at home.  I called my midwife and she wasn't alarmed but did inform me that if things progressed to head to the city to the Birthing Centre.

At this point, I also called the Papa to say I think I may be in labour, but no rush.  I was still in complete denial.  I returned to my friend's house where all my mama friends began to inform me of what they thought was actually happening and that this baby was going to be born soon.  (They were completely right!)  Funnily enough, I had a pre-natal massage booked in the afternoon.  I called them to cancel with this "labour excuse".  I was just feeling uncomfortable and didn't really want someone massaging my painful bits.  Little did I know...I was actually in labour!!

The Papa, at around 3 in the afternoon, got home and picked all his babes up from my friend's house. There was humorous talk about the baby being born, humorous only because I was still denying the fact that this was happening.  Around 5 o'clock, it was evident that the contractions were coming on strong and consistently spaced.  We made the decision to make the hour long drive into the city with the Babes.

The next hour and a half was a frantic getting together of night and day wear for the three older babes, a bag of clothing and necessities for the new babe, a camera, and birthing bag.  Poor Papa was doing his best to comfort me with my contractions while making all the preparations.

The G-units were called and after a long drive and stop at Starbucks for ice chips and raspberry iced tea, we arrived in Ottawa.  Upon seeing the Papa's mama I instantly cried.  Seeing her was comforting and emotional.  She was going to welcome her 6th grand baby and I was responsible for bringing this little babe to the world, when I was so full of fear.

We bid the babes adieu and headed to the Birthing Centre at around 8 pm.  My amazing midwives were there waiting for us.  Paula had seen the birth of 2 of my babes.  So when I saw her I immediately cried too.  Hormones must have been strong.  Paula is amazing and strong and I trust her completely.  Helen, the student midwife sent from above, was exceptional in every capacity and I know she is going to make the best of midwives.  It was she who assessed me and informed me that I was 4cm dilated and that she was going to give me a sweep to get the labour really going.

After the assessment, the Papa and I headed to a television room.  The pain was becoming unbearable.  It was not long after that that I decided to head into the birthing room.  It was beautiful and warm.  The tub was the biggest I had ever seen.  However, I was informed that I was not going to be able to birth in there.  I am uncertain if this knowledge, psychologically affected me in a negative way, but the contractions became more intense and a pain I do not remember ever experiencing with any of the other babes.  I began to swing from the bed.  Bounce on a balance ball.  Wash myself in the shower as a contraction would sweep over me.  There was a lot of on my hands and knees action.

At around 10pm I had too much, and asked for my epidural.  The midwives complied and I was transferred via our van to the hospital.  Immediately after we left the Centre, my contractions were tolerable.  Knowing that I would receive pain relief, I believe, eased my mind of worry I didn't know I possessed.  The Papa didn't even realize I had contractions in the half an hour drive because I was not experiencing them with such intensity as before.

Once registered and admitted to the hospital, we waited patiently for the anesthesiologist.  The two hour wait included me vomiting, a common symptom of my labours, and my mucous plug expelling itself during one of my wrenching episodes.  At around midnight he administered the epidural.  I had never received one before.  As a Mama of only natural births, one may think I was concerned about the epidural.  Prior to labour, I was.  Would there be an invasive delivery (one that required forceps or vacuum)?  Would my babe react negatively to the drugs?  Would I react negatively to the drugs?  All the fear dissipated when I needed relief.

When administered, I wasn't immediately in relief.  My water broke (something that had never happened before) and my entire right side could still feel the contractions.  My heartbeat also became quite fast (140) and Ivy girl's dropped.  I was put on oxygen instantly and there was concern that if we did not get her out soon, something could be wrong.

I was asked to give strong pushes.  I listened.  Ivy Adeline Jolliet was born at 1:24 am on November 22nd.  She was slightly cold but healthy.  She came fast so there remained a little mucous in her lungs.  She nursed for almost an hour and a half.  It must have been a lot of work to turn out so cute.  It was evident after the birth that my body was becoming covered in a rash.  I had an allergic reaction to the epidural.  We would have to stay longer to be monitored.

After what seemed like an endless stay in a semi-private room with a Mama who wouldn't stop talking, we were released and headed home with this cuteness to enjoy the bliss and recover.

This pregnancy is over.  My belly will never hold another babe again.  There are many emotions associated with this definitive decision.  At another time, I will delve into that.  But for now, we relish in the fact that we created this amazing being who is so loved by all, especially the eldest babes.

BUMP WATCH 2014: PREGNANCY JOURNALS

The last time I wrote I was nearing the end of the first trimester.  There are wives tales of sickness ending as you enter your second.  For me, this has never been true.  My mornings are plagued by terrible sickness that lingers throughout the day and then comes on strong again in the afternoon lasting well into the evening.  It is quite defeating.  The times I would most like to be spending with my babes are spent nursing my tummy and splitting headaches.  There are moments and times I cannot ever get back.  I am a go getter and naturally an idealist.  But dreams and art ideas never come to fruition because my physical being tells me no and my mind just doesn't want to go there.  I wait desperately for the Papa to come home, for some sort of release.  He jumps in feet first, without complaint or hesitation.  There is a gratitude that I have but a heavy guilt.  His time is precious with each of us and his is mostly spent picking up my pregnant sick body slack.

Some may be wondering "why subject yourself to a fourth sick pregnancy?"  The sickness is temporary and in fact, is not a sickness at all.  My body is doing what it does naturally to grow a human being.  That's a lot of work.  I am a vessel for this life and will subject myself to the forces of nature.  The end result is beautiful by the way.  There is no love greater than that between mother and babe.  That is what I live for.

So thank you my little big family for doing all that you can to ease my thoughts and sickness at present.  I am so full of gratitude.

GESTATION:  16 Weeks!  The babe is now the size of an avocado which my sister tells me also takes 9 months to reach fruitfulness.  I am sure I felt movement, but I could be crazy.  I am out of the first trimester and the sickness resides.

CRAVINGS:  Food please!  If you mention it I want it, NOW!  Masterchef is my nemesis.  They recently did a seafood challenge and I couldn't stop thinking about a lobster mac and cheese.  Obviously I didn't have any

MANTRAS:  I am determined to have a positive birthing experience. I have been reading the Mongan Method's Hypnobirthing Philosophy and it has been really helpful (will discuss in a later post.)

BUMP WATCH 2014: PREGNANCY JOURNALS

There is so much I'd like to share regarding this pregnancy and how I am feeling, physically and emotionally.  It is my fourth pregnancy and some may think I'm a seasoned vet.  Well, in some ways. I understand and accept the changes in my body easily.  I am a vessel for this being and it is my responsibility to allow my body to transform in anyway to fulfill this life force that beats inside me.  But I think when we decided to try to get pregnant again, I blocked out the parts that were terrifying and uncomfortable, or else I would not be trying again.  

This pregnancy was a little unexpected in the sense that we were trying but we weren't expecting it to happen so quickly.  Vye took a while to conceive and it was quite discouraging.  This time was almost instantaneous.  We are very lucky and extremely blessed.  At first, I admit, it was a shock.  I hadn't fully completed that list of to dos that many of us make before having even one child.  Who am I kidding?  I abandoned that list years ago.  

The symptoms also came full force at 5 weeks.  Headaches, nausea, drowsiness, vomiting.  Oh and a pop at 6 weeks that I tried desperately to hide because we obviously hadn't had that first ultrasound yet.  

BABY GESTATION:  12 weeks and I've popped!  Mega pop!  I am positive people noticed before we spilled the beans.  I'm usually quite petite and it is evident that parts of me are expanding.  

DUE DATE:  December 4, 2014 (I am usually a week early and am hoping to be this time as well, as per the complications of several family birthdays falling in December)

CRAVINGS:  This is bad, but I love the smell of cooking meat.  I indulge daily in ginger ale, popsicles (the Rocket pops rock my world), sandwiches with buttery spread, salty stuff and yes, pickles.

SEX:  Yes please!  LOL.  No we are waiting to find out and we have decided to keep it close to ourselves and not make any reveals.  Personally I think we are having another baby girl, but we are so happy to welcome a healthy baby into our lives and the girls are just over the moon.

EMOTIONALLY:  Not so bad.  My temper is a little short and I notice a definite mood shift when the moon is full but generally I am my regular self.  There are however, anxious fears of giving birth naturally.  I will discuss these at a later date as it is something I am going to have to definitely work through.

PHYSICALLY:  Symptoms hard!  Nausea, Vomiting (I never vomited during any of my other pregnancies), varicose veins popping in my legs (they usually subside), headaches, and restlessness at night).  I'm on heavy doses of the diclectin.